Dates Are Overrated
by By the Sounding Sea
Summary: Mary and Reid get set up on a date by Marshall and JJ. This is my first story, just so you know. I hope it's better than it sounds. Rated T for mild language from Mary.


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Hello there, world. This is my first FanFiction, just so you know. It's kinda long and it's sort of stupid, but I was bored one day.

**Disclaimer: I asked for the _Criminal Minds_ and _In Plain Sight _characters for Christmas last year, but, sigh, apparently I wasn't such a good girl. Maybe this year.**

* * *

"Yes…Yep, that sounds great! JJ and I are very excited…Alright, see you then!" Emily hung up the phone.

"Everything ready, Emily?" JJ asked. Emily nodded.

The BAU had a three-day weekend off and they were all ecstatic. Emily and JJ had scored a couple blind dates, Hotch was staying home to spend time with his wife and kid, Gideon was going to his cabin, and Morgan was probably going to do something that involved a club, alcohol, a bed, and later, coffee.

"So, Pretty Boy. What are you doing on the glorious three-day weekend?" Morgan asked, walking up to Reid's desk.

Reid shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I'll read."

Morgan chuckled. "Ah. Still no date, eh? Well, maybe when you're legal."

"I _am_ legal!" Reid protested. "And I could get a date if I wanted to. I just don't want one."

"Yes, you do. Well, you can have fun with your books. What are you reading now, some advanced calculus textbook? A book of useless information? Either way, you have fun with that. I'll be having real fun, if you know what I mean. Oh, well. You'll experience it someday. I'll see you later." Morgan ruffled Reid's hair teasingly and chuckled as he walked out of the BAU. JJ looked over at Reid.

"Hey, Emily," she said to her friend.

"What?"

"Reid could use something to do. God knows he reads too much. Let's call that guy, the one who hooked us up with our dates. I'll see if he has someone for Reid." JJ picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Marshall," said the man answering the phone.

"Hey, Marshall. It's Jennifer Jareau again."

"Ah, JJ. What can I assist you with today?" he said.

"Well, I was wondering if you know a single lady with nothing to do this weekend."

"Hmm. You know what, I just might. Let me call you back." He hung up.

**XXX**

"Hey, Mary," Marshall said to his partner.

"What?" she snapped.

"I have something for you to do."

"Choose your next words very carefully, Marshall," she retorted.

"Well, I happen to know this girl, goes by the name of JJ."

"Oh, are you trying to make me believe you're not gay?"

"I'm not…taking the bait. Anyway, there's the girl, JJ, and her friend, Emily-"

"Get to the point, Marshall. Can't you see I'm busy?"

"I want you to meet a friend of Emily's and JJ's."

"Ha. Sorry, mister. Ain't no way. I'm busy."

"Come on, Mary. We're only in DC for a couple more weeks. That makes it impossible for a serious relationship to form. It's completely risk free and you'll make these lovely ladies and their friend very happy."

"Uh-huh. How do you know them?" Mary asked.

"They…work for the government, too," Marshall said, knowing how Mary felt about the FBI.

Mary sighed. "Fine. But you'll owe me. What agency for the government?"

"Uh…let's make that a surprise."

"They work for the FBI, don't they?" Mary accused.

"Maybe."

"Gah. Marshall, you know how I feel about the FBI."

"Come on, Mare. Not all FBI agents are like Faber. You'll be fine. You're meeting them at the FBI headquarters at seven tonight."

"Tonight? Kind of last minute, isn't it, Marshall?"

"You don't have anything else to do."

"…Touché."

**XXX**

"Hey, Reid."

Reid looked up. "Hey, Emily."

"So, whatcha doing tonight?"

"Reading. You?"

"JJ and I are going on a double date. And now it's a triple date."

"Oh? Who else is going?"

"You."

"Huh?"

"You are."

"N-no, I'm not. I don't have a-a date….Oh, Emily. You didn't."

"No, actually, I didn't."

"Good.

"JJ did."

"No!"

"She's coming at seven."

Reid got up and walked over to JJ.

"JJ, I don't want to go on a date. And no one wants to go on a date with me. Call this woman back," Reid demanded.

"No way, Spence. It'll be good for you."

"Oh! JJ…" He sighed. "Fine. At least tell me about her."

"Okay. Her name is Mary Shannon and she's a US Marshal. I know her partner Marshall Mann and he hooked us up. They're normally in New Mexico, but they're here for a month working on a case."

"How come you said Mary Shannon and not Marshal Shannon, but you said Marshall Mann instead of whatever his name is?"

"That is his name."

"What's his name?"

"Marshall."

"Marshal Marshall Mann?"

"Yeah, that's his name."

"Huh…Cool."

**XXX**

"Hey, we're looking for Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau," said a tall, good-looking man with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

"I'm Emily, and that's JJ," Emily said. "Are you Andrew?"

"No, I'm Mark. I believe you're my date and your friend JJ gets Andrew."

"Excellent. So, you're Andrew?" said Emily, turning to the other man. He was also quite tall, but he had coppery hair and deep green eyes.

"Yeah. Hey, is that blonde over there JJ?" Andrew asked.

"Yep. JJ!" Emily called. JJ walked over.

"This is Andrew Larson, your date. And this is Mark Westen, my date."

"Excellent. Um, we're just waiting on our friend over there's date," JJ explained, indicating to Reid with a wave of her hand. The young genius was sitting cross-legged at his desk, his back hunched over toward the obscure textbook he was reading, as Morgan had predicted he would. "Hey, Reid!" JJ hollered.

Reid jumped up, startled.

"Uh, that guy's coming with us?" Andrew asked.

"That guy's an FBI agent?" Mark said, incredulously.

"Yes, he is. Don't knock him because he's young. He's a genius with an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and he can read 20,000 words per minute. Don't doubt him; you'll regret it," Emily said, defending her friend. Reid walked over, his book still in hand.

"Y-yes?" Reid said. He felt inadequate and self-conscious in the presence of these two athletic, non-anorexic looking men.

"This is Andrew, JJ's date, and this is Mark, my date," Emily explained. Reid shifted his eyes.

"Hi," said Mark and Andrew in unison. Reid turned red. He looked past the two men and saw a pretty blonde with greenish eyes walking out of the elevator. She was wearing jeans, boots, a blue camisole, and a leather jacket. She opened the door of the BAU and walked inside.

"Hey, I'm looking for, uh," she looked down at a card with something written on it, "Spencer Reid." Reid stared at her, staying silent. Emily pushed him forward.

"This is Reid," she said.

**XXX**

"This is Reid," said a brown-eyed brunette, pushing the scrawniest looking kid Mary had ever seen toward her. He was wearing a white button-down shirt with a sweater-vest, tan corduroy pants, and mismatched socks.

"Uh…Hi. I'm Mary." She was hoping this Spencer Reid had been either the redhead or the more muscular brunette.

"H-hi. I'm-I'm S-Spencer Reid," Spencer Reid stuttered. Mary stared.

"Goddamn it, Marshall, you suck," Mary grumbled under her breath. Emily and JJ exchanged worried glances. They saw Reid blushing deeply and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Suddenly, Garcia appeared out of nowhere.

"Hi! I'm Penelope Garcia. My friends call me Wonderful. Who are these handsome devils, Emily? And this gorgeous woman, too, Reid?"

"These are our dates," Emily said. "Well, we best be doing." The technical analyst scowled, unsatisfied with the limited amount of gossip she had received.

"We'll tell you later. Promise," JJ whispered to her. Garcia perked up a bit.

Andrew and Mark smiled at their dates, taking their hands and headed towards the elevator. Mary and Reid simply stared at each other.

"Alright, let's go," Mary said to Reid. "Maybe I'll get something from Marshall out of this." She grabbed Reid's arm and hauled him toward the elevator.

**XXX**

"Oh, I love this restaurant!" JJ enthused. "How did you know?"

"A little bird told me," said Andrew.

_"What a crock," _Reid thought. _"There's no way he could have known JJ liked the Founding Fathers."_

"Welcome to the Founding Fathers," said the waiter. "Can I take your drink orders?"

"Sure, I'll have water," said Andrew.

"Me too, please," said Mark.

"Iced tea for me, please," said Emily.

"Oh, me too," said JJ. "What about you, Mary?"

"Can I have a Diet Coke?"

"Is Diet Pepsi okay?" asked the waiter.

"Is Monopoly money okay?" Mary retorted sarcastically.

"Uh…" stuttered the waiter.

"Um, Reid, how about you?" said JJ, trying to switch the attention from Mary and her snark.

"Um…water."

"Excellent. I'll be right back with your drinks." The waiter walked off.

"So…How the hell old are you?" Mary asked Reid.

"Uh, um, uh, t-twenty-five," Reid stuttered.

"Wow. What are you, some kind of genius or something? Or just a total freak? I'm guessing both. Right?" Reid shifted his eyes, not lifting them from the table.

"Um, uh…" Reid stammered.

"He's a genius," JJ said defensively.

"No offense, he just seems like a freak, that's all," Mary said. "Actually, he reminds me of my partner and best friend. Kind of looks like him too."

"American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from every salad served in first class," blurted Reid.

"Oh, you are _so_ like Marshall, it's not even funny." Emily stifled a giggle. Reid blushed.

"When you blush, the lining in your stomach turns red too," stated Reid, twisting the napkin in his hands.

"This kid is crazy. Ya'll've got a walking computer. I'll bet that comes in handy on cases," said Andrew. Emily nodded.

"Oh yeah. I honestly don't think the team would be able to function without Reid." Reid blushed even deeper, uncomfortable with all the attention. And when he got uncomfortable, he spouted random information.

"Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair."

"Alright. That is very important. You and my partner need to get together. Do you play chess?" Mary asked.

"The word 'checkmate' comes from the Persian phrase 'shah mat', which means 'the king is defeated'."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Reid's one of the best chess players I've ever seen," said JJ.

"Uh-huh. You really need to meet my partner. I'm hooking you up," said Mary. The waiter approached them.

"Oh, the drinks are here," said Andrew. They ordered their food at the same time and the waiter rushed away.

**XXX**

"So, you're from Albuquerque, Mary?" said JJ while the group ate their meal.

"Yep. Marshall and I are in DC working a case. But we'll be leaving in a few weeks. Just wrapping things up."

"On average, twelve people live in a square mile of New Mexico," stated Reid.

"Uh-huh," said Mary. The waiter came up to them.

"Did everyone enjoy their meal?"asked the waiter.

"Yes, it was delightful," said Andrew.

"Would anyone like dessert? Coffee, maybe?"

"The word coffee was once a term for wine." The waiter gave Reid a funny look. Reid shrunk down into his seat.

"Coffee would be great," said JJ, after sending Reid a concerned look. Everyone agreed and the waiter rushed off once again.

"So, what's it like as a Marshal? Is it much different from being in the FBI?" asked JJ.

"Wouldn't really know, would I? I've never been in the FBI. I will admit, though, that I've never liked the FBI agents I've met. But you all seem okay.

"Here's your coffee," said the waiter as he handed the cups out to the group.

Mark and Andrew were looking bored. Actually, they had been since the arrival of the food.

"You know, I'm gonna go to the bathroom," said Andrew.

"I'll accompany you, Andrew," said Mark. "Excuse us, ladies." The two walked away. They didn't come back.

**XXX**

Mary drove her rental car back to the FBI building to drop off the agents, grumbling the whole time about not having her Probe.

"Well, sorry your guys' dates walked out," Mary said, but they were certain that she wasn't sorry, merely trying to br polite. In fact, they were also certain that she was amused by the situation.

"Well, thanks for going out with Reid. He's pretty shy, especially when it comes to women," JJ whispered to Mary. She nodded.

"Sure, whatever. I'm trying to build up good karma and demolish the bad. Marshall says that right now I've got mostly bad karma on my record. Besides, now he owes me a favor. He also owes me nine dollars for lunch last week. I need to get that." She grabbed a pen and wrote on the notepad hooked to the dashboard, "$9, Marshall. Doesn't give, kick ass." Emily and JJ exchanged a look.

"Well, I'll see you. Maybe." And with that, Mary sped off in her underappreciated rental car.

**XXX**

"Reid! Tell me all! I'm so curious! Who was she? She was pretty." Garcia beamed when she saw Reid walked into her office.

"Uh…Well. Her name is Mary Shannon and she's a US Marshal normally stationed in Albuquerque, New Mexico. They're in DC working on a case, leaving in a few weeks. She thought I was a freak and certainly wasn't afraid to speak her mind, which I actually appreciate. It's quite refreshing. Emily and JJ's dates walked out on them; I'm not entirely sure why. But Mary said that her partner and I would get along well. I like his name. Marshall Mann."

"What's his first name?"

"That is his first name."

"What is?"

"Marshall."

"…Marshal Marshall Mann?"

"Yep."

"…Wow. So how did it go?"

"I think I just told you, Garcia. I didn't want to go anyway. Emily and JJ made me. I just wanted to sit at home and read. What's wrong with that?"

"Well…nothing, Reid, but maybe you need to socialize more. I mean, you can't hide behind your books forever. You're a great guy. Fantastic. Anyway, to cut to the chase, do you like this Mary Shannon?"

"…I dunno. But I know for sure that she doesn't like me. And I know that she lives 1,849 miles away from here, and she seems to be really relationship-phobic."

Garcia sighed. "Ah, Reid. You know, eventually you'll find someone who doesn't mind your little…quirks. And who knows? Maybe it's this Mary character."

"It's not, Garcia."

"Well, maybe you just can't see it. Anyway, whether it is Mary or not, I promise you. She'll come along."

**XXX**

"Marshall!" Mary yelled as she stormed into their surrogate office. His head quickly snapped up from his desk.

"Mary. Hi. How was it?"

"Marshall, you owe me _so_ much."

"Why? Was it that bad?"

"Do you even know who you set me up with, Marshall?"

"Uh…I know he's a profiler with the BAU and is good friends with Supervisory Special Agents Emily Prentiss and Jennifer Jareau. I know he's the youngest member of the BAU ever. I know he's a genius. Why? What happened?"

"I can't believe I'm even able to say this, but this guy's an even bigger geek than you are."

"Wow. Coming from you, he's a _huge_ geek. What did he do?" inquired Marshall.

"God, he was just so nervous and so awkward and would barely look me in the eyes. He was just like you, but worse! He kept spouting all these random facts 'cause he was nervous or something and then Emily and JJ's dates walked out on them, I'm not sure why, but long story short, you owe me big."

"Wow. Well, we are now about to enter Post-Rant-Relief, so that's good. You can relax now." Marshall nodded for Mary to sit down beside him. She took a few deep breaths and felt better.

"Marshall…"

"Yeah…"

"I _really_ miss my Probe."

**XXX**

A few days after the date, Reid walked up to Garcia's office.

"Um…Garcia?" The technical analyst whirled around.

"Reid! What can I help you with on this fine day?"

"Um…I, uh…I was wondering if you could, uh, tell me where Marshal Mary Shannon is working while in DC," Reid said. A mischievous grin spread over the technical analyst's face.

"Of course! Give me three seconds." She went over to her computer, typed for a moment, and then turned back to Reid.

"She is stationed at 746 Greenbrier Avenue along with her partner Marshal Marshall Mann. Have fun and good luck." Garcia winked as Reid walked out.

**XXX**

"Hey, Marshall, did you hear a knocking?" Mary said, looking up from her desk. She looked past the door. "Oh, God."

"What? What's the matter?" Marshall asked her.

"That's that guy you hooked me up with the other night." Marshall looked over to where Mary was looking.

"That's him? He doesn't look bad. Oh, he doesn't look like me at all, Mary."

"Shut up, Marshall, yes he does." Mary got up to get the door. She let Reid in.

"Dr. Reid, this is my partner, Marshall Mann. You two really need to talk."

Reid held his hand up in a weird sort of wave.

"Well, hello there, Dr. Reid. You know, I read your dissertation (I found it online) last night. Truly impressive work. I was enlightened by it. It really made me think about-"

"Yeah, that's great, nerd talk later," Mary said, shutting Marshall up. "What do you want?"

"Well, I, um, I was just…I just um…" Reid stuttered. He noticed a chess board on Marshall's desk. "Hey, do you play chess, Mary?"

"Eh. Marshall tries to get me to play all the time. He is pathetic," Mary replied.

"Do you maybe want to play, Dr. Reid?" asked Marshall. Reid nodded.

They walked over to a table on the other side of the replacement office. Marshall silently set up the chess game. "White or black?"

"Oh, uh, um, you can pick." Marshall chose white.

"So…You like my partner…" Marshall said. Reid felt his face grow hot. He kept his head down and made his next move. They said nothing for a few movements.

"So…Mary…" Marshall tried to start the conversation again.

"Uh…yeah. But-but she clearly doesn't like me. And she lives halfway across the country…And…And you love her." Reid looked Marshall straight in the eye. Marshall looked up.

Marshall cleared his throat. "Now, ahm, why would you think that?"

"When-when I walked in, you-you wanted to get me away from her. When we talk about her, you blush-"

"So do you," said Marshall, interrupting.

"Very deeply," Reid continued as if Marshall had never interrupted. "Your skin flushes and you get very defensive," continued Reid, knowing he himself was getting very defensive. "And finally…it's pretty damn obvious. You don't need to be a profiler to see it. But, and I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, Mary doesn't know."

Marshall looked at Reid for a good bit of time. He finally sighed. "I've always imagined that I would hate profilers. Now I know for sure." Reid smirked.

"Well. C-can I try to tell you something you don't know about her?"

"I doubt it. I know…pretty much everything about her."

"Can I beat you at chess?"

"Ha! I doubt that, too. I'm pretty good."

"I'm better."

"Oh, really? Hey, Mary!" Marshall called. Mary looked over at the two boys. She got up from her desk and walked over.

"What?"

"We're having a contest."

"Oh, dear God."

"Dr. Reid says he's better at chess. I want to see for sure," said Marshall. Mary peered over at Reid.

"Well, as much as I would love to stick around to watch you humiliate yourself and see Boy Genius here throw up," said Mary, "I gotta work. So do you, Marshall."

"I'm taking a break. Come on, Mary. Sit down and watch us play. I'll tell you what we're doing along the way."

Mary sighed. "Fine. I want a break, anyway, and this could prove to be entertaining." She pulled up a folding chair and watched as her partner and the young genius played chess.

They made their moves at lightning speed. Mary's eyes darted from player to player.

After a few minutes, she said, "So who's winning?"

Marshall stared at the board, perplexed, and grumbled, "He is." Mary chortled.

After a few more minutes and a few checks, the young doctor looked Marshall straight in the eye and said, "Checkmate."

Marshall pounded the table. "Damn!" Mary laughed.

"Wow. This is amusing. Anyway, what did you come here for in the first place?" Mary asked Reid.

"I…I…Never mind. It wouldn't be fair. Thanks for the game, Marshall. I should get back to the BAU. Um…Bye, Mary. I hope we'll get the chance to work with each other in the future." Reid walked out the door and into the elevator.

"What the hell was that? I swear to God, that kid is so bizarre. What did you say to him, Marshall?"

Marshall's face flushed. "Well…nothing. Did you know that when you blush the lining in your stomach turns red too?"

**XXX**


End file.
